


Blank Space

by freeyourinnerdemon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:20:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freeyourinnerdemon/pseuds/freeyourinnerdemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has been really sad and lonely lately and accidentally confesses his love to dean while drunk. Dean is still confused about his feelings for Cas but wants to make him feel better. Dean does a spell that brings his brothers (Balthazar and Gabriel) back to life but unknowingly, releases Lucifer. Lucifer takes Sam and they have to find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ch 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so im rusty. I hope y'all like it though ♥

(Cas POV)

its been a couple days since ive seen Dean. and Sam. They went to California for a Vampire case. I told Dean i would meet them there, but i think im might wait this one out at the bunker. Ive been kinda.. out of it latley. ive been experiencing … emotions… feelings of some sort. All i do is sleep, watch tv, and drink (secretly). Im trying to fill this unbearable.. emptiness inside. i can’t quite put my finger on what’s causing it. i’ll be in a room with sam and dean yet i still feel so alone. somethings missing from my life.

i take another swig from a bottle of whiskey when my phone rings. “hello dean,” i slur into the phone. “cas! where have you been? i thought you were gonna pop by once we got here? show up asap,” dean replied followed by his motel number and hangs up. i hide the whiskey in my trench coat before i show up.

“what is it?” i say. Dean jumps around, “Dammit Cas, quit doing that!” i look around. Sam wasn’t there. “where’s--” dean cuts me off. “Sam’s out. He's scouting a possible vamp nest." "Wait, you didn't go with him?" I asked. "Nah, I'm tired. Besides we figured that if you showed up one of us should be here." He replied. "Oh well that's very s-sweet of you." I said with a little slur...I hoped he wouldn't notice. “Wait,” he pauses “Cas, are you… Drunk?” “Of cours-se not” i reply with a little too much slur. Dean walks over to me. "Holy crap Cas I can smell the whiskey oozing from your mouth! How much have you been drinking?" He asks forcefully. I tried to sound as sober as possible and said, "I just went to a bar earlier and had a little too much. I'm not an alcoholic." Dean slightly squinted his eyes and glanced at my chest. He grabbed the whiskey bottle from my pocket. "Cas, even I couldnt drink this much in one day!” he says, inspecting the bottle. i look towards the ground. i dont reply. “whats gotten into you?” He asks. "You talk a lot,” i reply, snatching the bottle out of his hand. i take another drink. He’s looking right at me. Worried. Our eyes meet. “You know...you have really beautiful eyes” I say not realizing how weird it sounded until it was too late. He lifts an eyebrow. “yeah, you're drunk,” he laughs. He walks towards me and gently grabs my arm and tries to help sit me down on the bed. I grab his sleeve. “sit with me,” i beg. he hesitates and then takes a seat. Something comes over me, I feel so lonely. I feel almost desperate for someone's affection that i lean my head against his shoulder. “youre re-eally special, ya know that, dean? youre a-a hero. And me..im just a shitty excuse for an angel-l.” i slur the whole thing. “Dont say that Cas” he replied almost instantly. “You're better than I could ever be." He adds. "Youre all i have in this world. ive lost my brothers, friends, God, and now I think I'm losing my sanity. Youre all i have left Dean, and you mean so much to me." I replayed what I just said in my head and it sounded really awkward. But looking over at Dean, seeing his big green eyes I couldn't help but say what I said next. "I love you, Dean.” I said. He laughs, “Um... I love you too, man.” “No, you don't understand,” i sit up and look at him, and lean even closer “I LOVE you.” He turns and faces me. its silent. I examined evey inch of his face and i couldnt stop myself from doing what i did next. I put his face in my hands and kissed him. he pushed me away, “wait” he said, looking into my eyes. He seemed terrified but he also looked intrigued. he paused and slowly started to lean closer to me. What was only a couple seconds seemed like hours as he got closer and closer and when he was only inches away he stopped. He open his mouth as if he wanted to say something but instead he just jumped in and kissed me. Long and hard. his lips were so soft. He breaks the kiss for a moment to breathe but he immediately jumps back in, this time he puts his tongue in my mouth. Surprised I opened my eyes, but the kiss, his tongue, just felt so good that I closed my eyes and decided to let Dean completely take over. He grabbed my hips and pulled me closer until I was almost on his lap. His touch sent sparks up my body. He started kissing faster, harder. Suddenly he pushed me over and got on top of me. my hands are wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. He starts kissing me again this time he starts to kiss and nibble at my neck. I want to let out a little groan when suddenly, he pushes away and sits up. I sit up to look at him. he’s breathing heavily and his eyes are clsoed. “You need to sleep,” he says. he gets off the bed and walks to the bathroom, locking it shut. i take another big gulp of my whiskey and shut my eyes.


	2. Ch 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters are short but they get longer through out the story

(Dean POV)

"I love you, I love you, I love you"

That's the only thing on my mind. "I love you, Dean." Everytime I replay it in my head, I get goosebumps. I have a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I look at myself in the mirror. "Oh god, What did I do" I wipe some water on my face before leaving the bathroom. He's asleep. I sit on the bed across from him. He looks so peaceful. Hes so... Beautiful. Fuck, what was I saying? I dont even know whats going on in my head right Now. My thoughts go back to when he kissed me. Why didn't I stop? It just felt so right. No, no he's like a brother to me. I don't.. Love him. I can't. First of all, I'm straight. Second, love? I don't love. Not romantically anyway. How am I supposed to love someone else when I can't even love myself? I'm probably just drunk. I mean, I've only had two beers, but that's the only reasonable explanation for this. Maybe I just felt bad for him. He was so smashed and he looked so sad. Dammit, I hate it when he's sad, and he looks at me with those big blue eyes that make him look like a lost puppy. I should make it up to him. Do something to get his mind off his stress and to get his mind off of...whatever it is we just did. Give him something. What do angels even like though? What do I do when I'm sad? I drown myself in alcohol, but that didn't really work out too well for him. I work on the impala, but he probably doesnt know shit about cars. I listen to music. Hey, that might be a good idea. I'll show him some good ol' classic rock. Buy him one of those i-pod things. That'll be great. I look back over at him. Resting, dreaming. "I love you, Dean." My thoughts won't shut up. Looks like I'm not getting any sleep tonight.


	3. Ch 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S: if you see any errors or things that don't make sense in any chapter, please let me know! thanks! c:

(Cas POV)

I wake up to an excruciating pain all over my head. I may have drank a little too much last night. Everything is blurred in my head. I can't remember a thing. "Cas! Glad you're awake. I gotta surprise for you!" Then it all came back. The "I love you". The kissing. Everything. What did I do. "W-what is it, dean" I reply nervously. "C'mere!" I get up and walk towards him. His hand behind his back. "Uh, Dean. About last ni-" he stops me "you were pretty messed up and upset last night. So I decided to get you something." He said while taking his hand from behind his back. He was holding some device. "Its an iPod," he said, "it plays music or something. Music helps me get my mind off things when I'm stressed so I thought it should help you too." He didn't even bring up the event from last night. "Oh. Uh. Thanks dean." I say as I take the iPod. He smiles and gives me a little pat on my shoulder as he walks away. I get shivers at his touch. I stand there silently just thinking to myself, "Dean Winchester, how do you manage to both take away and give me life at the same time?"

Now I'm on the computer. Dean showed me a site to download music on to my iPod. He showed me how to play the music samples so I can tell if I like it or not. He has me on the rock section. ACDC. Led zeppelin. Metallica. I download a few songs and scroll down when I see an ad. I look around. He's still out getting food. I click the taylor swift ad and her song plays. "I stay out too late  
Got nothing in my brain". This was catchy. I kinda liked it. "Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play  
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate" I download all her albums. Dean would hate me if he knew I was listening to--. My thoughts get interrupted "Really? Taylor swift?" I jump up and turn around. Dean is standing in the doorway. I didn't even hear him come in. "I buy you an iPod. I show you good music. And you choose taylor swift?" A smile slowly grows on his face and he begins to laugh. "No! She's good! Here listen to this one" I reply, picking a song. "Blank Space" starts to plays. "So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames". After its over, I look up at him for approval. He looks over at me and smirks "not bad. as long as you like it." He turns around and starts talking about food or something. I'm not really listening. I'm more focused on the giant smile across my face. I haven't smiled in a while now. Dean opens the fridge and starts blabbering on about something and i look over at him. Still smiling. Thoughts of last night come to mind. "I think I love you Dean. The question is... do you love me."


	4. Ch 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm posting another chapter after this :)

(Dean POV)

I woke up from my nap as Sam walked in the door. "Well I'm glad to you see you've been sleeping while Ive been pumping coffee into my veins trying to stay awake as I scouted a house of blood suckers." Sam said. "Nice to see you to smart ass." I said as I stood up from the couch. "And I'll have you know that I actually haven't gotten any sleep since you left." I added. "Really? Why?" Sam asked as he sat down. I glanced over at Cas who was still searching songs on the computer. "Oh you know we stayed up and talked about rainbows and butterflies." I said sarcastically. Sam chuckled, "Yeah I'm sure you and Cas had real party." I felt my cheeks get warm and I think I was blushing as I looked over at Cas. "So what did you find out? Are we dealing with a couple rag tag vamps or a whole damn nest?" I asked Sam trying to change the subject. "Oh it's a nest alright, and a big ass one." Sam replied. "Well if there's a lot of them we should go kill the bastards now while the sun is out." I said. "Nah, I've tracked their pattern and they only hunt humans on the weekends when the streets are busy. And since it's Wednesday no one is in danger yet. Besides I need to sleep before I go after anything." Sam said as he yawned. "Then what am I supposed to do all day? Sit at home and knit?" I asked. "I'm sure your capable of entertaining yourself for a day, Dean." Sam said as he walked into the other room and closed the door behind him. I sat back on the couch and let out a sigh. I looked over at Cas who was still typing away. What am I supposed to do for a whole day? I thought to myself. Well, I might as well take care of this little Cas situation. I grabbed my keys and walked over to Cas. "C'mon." I said as I gave him a little smack on the back. He turned around, "Where are we going?" He asked. "Out." I replied. I began to walk out the door when he stood up and said, "Dean...wait." I turned around to face him...he looked stressed. "Are...are we gonna talk about last night?" I felt my stomach drop when he said that. I was hoping he wouldn't really remember last night. "Cas look, all I know is that you were hammered, I was hammered and shit happened. So how about instead of making our lives awkward we have a little fun and enjoy a day off." I said. I could tell he wanted to say more but he just followed me out the door without saying another word. I don't know what's gonna happen today but I have a feeling it's gonna be either really good or really bad.


	5. Ch 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, i'm done posting for now... will add more later! (:

(Cas POV)

we’ve been driving around for 10 minutes now and not a word has been said. we’re sitting in absolute silence when suddenly, “theres a good burger joint down here, why dont we get that to-go and you fly us on down to the bunker for a little while,” Dean says, keeping his eyes on the road. i nod my head and look down, fidgeting with my hands, craving another drink.

i let go of deans shoulder as we appear in the bunker. he stumbling over himself, leaning on a table to catch his balance. he’s still not use to the whole flying thing. he finally picks himself up and heads over to the table. i sit down across from him and he’s already chewing on his bacon cheeseburger. i open up my burger and as i lift it up to my mouth to take a bite, i stop. i look down at the burger then over to the alcohol sitting on the counter then back down at the burger. im not hungry, i just really want a drink to drown out all this pain. Dean is looking at me curiously, still munching on his burger when i get up and walk over to the cabinet. “Cas, where are you go-- Oh no, you aren't drinking anymore,” he gets up and and runs over to me, yanking the bottle out of my hand. This infuriates me. “Give me the bottle, Dean,” i say. “No way, you're not taking a sip of this crap again, not when im around.” he says holding the bottle away from me. “and why is that?” i reply sternly, reaching for the bottle. “do you not remember last night? Do you want that to happen again?!” “i dont care!” “you dont care?” he replies in shock. “i dont! i just want to drink and forget!” “Forget what?” “EVERYTHING!” i shout, “I just want to forget all the pain and loneliness, i want to forget all the lost hope and horrible things in this world,” i look over at him, his face shocked and worried, “i want to forget my feelings for you,” i continue and he stiffens a bit, “i want to forget my Father that left me and forget all my brothers, like Gabriel and Balthazar, who died because of me or all the rest of my family who just hate me!” “Cas..” he interrupts but i still continue on my rant. “I want to forget all the stupid shit ive done” “Cas!” “i want to forget all the blood spilt and tears shed and--” “CASTIEL!” i look up in shock. He hasn't called me by my full name in a long time. The moment our eyes meet is when i cant hold it in any longer. i hold my face in my hands and cry and cry and cry. it feels like forever of me sobbing into my palms before i feel Dean wrap his arms around me, pulling me in his chest. One hand brushing my hair. he whispers “shhhh,” continuing to pet my head. i start to calm down a little more and more until i completely stop crying. but he doesnt move. he continues holding me. i never want to move but eventually he gives up his grip, moving his hand to my cheek. he's looking down at me with his beautiful green eyes. he starts to lean down a little and before i know it, he places his lips on mine.


	6. Ch 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT

(Dean POV)

 

It feels so right, my lips on his. it feels like they were meant to be together. i feel him relax beneath me, his lips slowly curving into a smile before wrapping his arms around my neck. I lift him up, his legs wrapping around my waist. With our lips still in contact, i walk us over to the bedroom. I throw him on the bed and get on top of him, straddling his sides. “I want you, Dean,” he says between kisses. He starts to tug on my shirt so i throw it off in one swift movement and start kissing his neck while unbuttoning his shirt. He lets out a soft moan and scratches my back. I want to make him happy, i want to make this angel feel good. I finally undo the last button and throw his shirt open, revealing his chest. i lower my kiss from his neck, down to his middle, down to his waist. i unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. once they are off, i take the rim off his boxer and lift it up then snapping it down on his skin. I look up at him, biting my lip and palming him through his boxers. He lifts his head back and arches his back. “o-oh Dean,” he says with a gasp. I take off his boxers and he moans as his dick is no longer held back. I stroke him and he moans even louder than before. I lick the tip and then cover his cock with my mouth. i bop my head up and down while in sync with my hand at the base. As i go faster and tighten my lips and hand, he gasps and thrusts his hips up, his dick slightly hitting my gag reflex. As i continue, he thrusts again, but i hold it together. i remove my hand just start using my mouth, deep throating him. He screams and calls out my name. “D-dean!” he shouts. soon i just start using my hand, crawling back up to him and kissing his neck.”Dean, im gonna--,” he moans as he comes over the both of our chests. After he finishes, i stop. I’m hovering over him as he looks up into my eyes, breathing heavily. i bend down and give him a long kiss on his soft lips. i whisper, “lets get cleaned up." then i grin, causing him to show off his amazing smile in return.

 

i decided to take a shower and when i get out, i notice cas passed out on the couch. i cant help but smile. i pick him up and tuck him in bed. i get in along with him. he turns over and lays his head on my chest and i hold him in my arms. our legs are tangled together. i kiss the top of his head and slowly fall asleep with the warmth of Castiel is my arms.


	7. Ch 7

(Cas POV)

 

i wake up with something missing. The warmth of Dean from last night was gone. I start to panic a little before i hear music coming from outside the room. i follow it and find myself in the kitchen watching Dean dance around in his boxers and a white t-shirt while he’s cooking breakfast. He looks up to see me standing there, “Good morning sleeping beauty!” he walks over, handing me a plate of scrambled eggs and toast, while kissing me on the cheek. I can feel my cheeks warm up and a smile grow on my face.

 

“we should probably get back to Sam,” i say after finishing the last bite of eggs. that's the first time I've eaten anything in a few days. Dean looks up from his plate, “yeah you go ahead, im gonna stay back and do some research and i’ll call you when to come get me,” he says, grabbing our plates and putting them in the sink. “what are you doing research on?” i ask in reply. he hesitates before saying, “oh.. uh… you know.. just some… stuff on… vampires.” “vampires?” i reply with confusion, “Don’t you already know everything about vampires?” “it doesn't hurt to learn more, know exactly what you're up against,” he says nervously. He’s a bad liar, but i let him be. “okay, i guess i’ll just come back when you call,” i say, about to head back to California but he says, “Cas, wait,” i turn back around to find Dean 3 inches away from me. He grabs my face and kisses me. We stay there for a while before he pulls away. He looks down on me and smiles, “See you later, baby”

 

(Dean POV)

 

Truth is, i wasn't doing research on vampires. I knew more about vampires than Stephanie Myers. Not that she knows a single thing about real vampires, but that’s not the point. Last night when Cas was rambling on about everything wrong in his life, i got an idea. I grab a book about angels and search through it, looking for anything about rejuvenation. That’s it, i was gonna bring Castiel’s brothers back to life. Specifically Gabriel and Balthazar, because Cas mentioned them yesterday and frankly, all the rest are dicks. When I lost Sammy in hell, I was torn to pieces, so I can just imagine Cas' pain right now. He tries so hard to do the right thing and he gets little credit. This will be a great gift for him. His family. Plus I get to see that stunning smile of his. I flips through the pages some more until I finally find what I'm looking for. He is going to love this.


	8. Ch 8

(Cas POV)

 

"RISE AND SHINE SLEEPY HEAD!" My eyes fly open and I almost fall out of bed. "Cmon get up, we've got no time to lose!" Dean says while standing at the end of my bed. I look at the clock, "its 6:30, dean, what's going on?" I say while rubbing my eyes. "Just get dressed, you'll find out soon," he replies, throwing some clothes at me. I hold them up and say, "where are my normal clothes?" "Trust me, you don't wanna be wearing a dress shirt and a trench coat to where we're going," he says, flashing a smile and walking into the other room. I inspect the ACDC shirt and jeans before putting them on. I stretch my arms over my head and walk over to Dean. His back is facing me, I look him up and down. I start to think about Deans body holding mine and how much I love him. I pop up behind him and start playing with his necklace.

 

(Dean POV)

 

I feel Cas behind me and quickly hide the tickets under my bag. I turn around and look at Cas angrily, but next thing I know, I'm lost in his puppy-like face and his angelic blue eyes. I start to slowly move in towards Cas, unable to stop myself. I grab his sides and he holds his hands on my shoulders. Our bodies move even closer and I push him up against the nearest wall. He moves his hands up and down my body, soon landing on my groin. I let out a small gasp but I have to stop myself for going any further, "not yet," I whisper in his ear. I release him from my grasp. He looks up at me in disappointment. I kiss him on the forehead, causing him to blush, "cmon let's go," I say grabbing the bag and papers around it and head out the door.

 

(Cas POV)

 

"Are we almost there yet," I complain but Dean just smiles and doesn't say a word. I have no idea where we could possibly be going at this time of the day. And why on earth did I have to wear these clothes? Not that I'm complaining, because they smell like Dean. I wonder why he's doing all of this. I mean, I love it. I love him, but I'm not even sure he loves me back. He's been acting like it but he hasn't said it. What if he's just trying to get some action? Why am I thinking so much? "Cas!" I finally snap back into the real world. I look at Dean and he glances over with a giant grin on his face. "We're here," he says point up to a big sign. I read it out loud, "Welcome to Disne


	9. Ch 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter sorry

(Cas POV)

 

"you're taking me to Disneyland?!" I say with a mixture of shock and excitement. "Sure am," he replies still with a smile. This is the first time anyone has ever left me speechless.

 

We driving into the parking lot and get out of the car. I still haven't managed to say a single word. We walk to the entrance as I look up at the tall roller coasters, listening to the excited screams of the people riding. We end up in line, waiting for the workers to check our tickets and let us in. Dean pulls 2 tickets out of his pocket and hands one to me. "Dean, this was probably so expensive! I could have just flew us in there!" I finally manage to speak. He laughs, "yeah, just zap us in there and appear randomly in front of a million people? That won't freak anybody out." We are finally next in line. The smiling employee welcomes and let's me in. I step inside and look around. There are so many rides and shops. I see a little girl take a picture with Donald Duck and a man eating a funnel cake. There's green grass and bright flowers. "Everything's so... Beautiful," I say. "I thought you might like it," dean says while wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "Dean, why did yo--," I begin to say but I get interrupted with a kiss. "Don't ask questions, just enjoy," dean says, flashing one of his perfect smiles at me. I didn't even realize till Now that I'm smiling too.


	10. Ch 10

(Dean POV)

 

We get off space mountain and I look at Cas. His hair is sticking straight up and windblown from the rides. I can't help but to laugh at that. "That was so much fun!" He says looking at the map, "can we go to autopia next? Or maybe maybe big mountain thunder railroad? Oh! Drop that, let's go to Star Tours!" Before I get a word in he grabs my hand and runs off, pulling me behind him. I just laugh at his amusement and run quickly to catch up with him.

 

"1... 2... 3... Cheese!" The Disney employee says, snapping the picture of us and the mascot. "I can't believe I just took a picture with Goofy," I say to Cas. "Hey, that wasn't so bad," he replies, grabbing the picture of us that was just printed out. "Aww, look at you dean!" He goes on about how "cute" I look and then holds up the map and starts walking and talking to me with a big fat smile on his face that hasn't disappeared since we've been here. He keeps on talking but I'm not listening. In this moment, Everything hits me. I look at his gorgeous cyan eyes and remember the first time I ever made contact with them. I look down at his smile and think about all the laughs we've had together. Everything comes In flashbacks. Every memory of Cas since he raised me from perdition. Every smile, laugh, tear, hug. In that moment, I realized something that I should of known a long time ago. I stop walking. Cas turns around and looks at me "what are you doing?" He chuckles. I reach up place my hand on his cheek, his face begins to turn serious. "I'm in love with you, Castiel," I finally say. He looks at me in surprise. Then he smiles, "and I'm in love with you Dean Winchester." He wraps his arms around my neck and we kiss. I wrap my arms around his back and lift his feet off the ground. This kiss was different, it wasn't like the ones before. I felt different. We kiss until we can't breath and then we pull away, our foreheads touching. I look into his eyes and smile. Finally, I look around to see people staring. Some smiling, some confused, some disgusted. Usually I would care and say something, but I didn't. I didn't care what they thought, I was happy. Finally happy.


End file.
